Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The year in moviethings

Inspired by/cheerfully ripping off an idea from Mr. Smith, who's done the same thing on the STCO forums, I hereby present my opinions on the moving pictures what I saw at the cinema complex this year of our lord 2008. I'll keep 'em short because I've already mentioned some of them on here, and there's quite a few besides.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

I enjoyed this more than I thought I would, mainly because I'm fairly squeamish and was fully expecting to spend half the movie peering out between my fingers. The shamelessly over-the-top design pleased me, I spent the next three weeks humming "A Little Priest" at inappropriate times, and the cast were excellent, even the ones who had rubbish parts to play (i.e. Anthony and Johanna). Helena Bonham Carter completely owned the movie as I far as I'm concerned. Needed more Anthony Head, though, but then everything needs more Anthony Head. Everything.


Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Brilliant script, brilliant acting, brilliant direction, brilliant soundtrack (I bought the CD on the way home from the cinema, which I think is the only time I've ever done that). Nary a bum note to be had.

The Other Boleyn Girl

I can't remember much of this, to be honest (saw it in March), which probably isn't a good sign. From what I can remember, Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johannson were good as the Boleyns, but Eric Bana was a bit of a damp squib as Henry VIII, largely down to not having anything to work with. Mind, put Portman and Johannson in bosomy Tudor corsets and hint at much taking off of said bosomy corsets and I'm pretty much satisfied.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

When you're giggling out loud as you remember a movie's plot, you're probably on to a winner. All the tiresome naysayers have apparently forgotten how deeply silly the first three movies were, and Skull can hold its head up high as being even sillier. ARMY OF MONKEYS

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

I've read the Narnia books several times, and I can never remember Caspian's plot. Upon viewing the movie, the reason for this became clear: the plot's rubbish. The film isn't rubbish, but it is the very definition of meh. Hopelessly average. Only Eddie Izzard as Reepicheep (and the bit where he stabs a guy in the eye very nearly being shown onscreen and making the whole cinema wince audibly) is worth noting.


Just glorious. I've covered this already, so I'll just praise the astonishing character animation, and the pleasing fact that it apes Firefly/Serenity in places (i.e. some of the action sequences being shot as if "real", with the camera panning around to find Wall·E before zooming in on him).

The Dark Knight

Again, covered this. I remember my body hurting at the end of the film, as my muscles had been tensed for so long. Gripping.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

A little disappointing, mainly due to the pre-release hype and early reviews. It felt like a character piece with the action sequences bolted on out of obligation, but it was fun and well-acted. Nice use of Travis's "All I Want to Do is Rock", too.


Excellent. Top performance from Angelina Jolie, suitably restrained direction from Clint Eastwood, and possibly the only time I've seen John Malkovich act in a movie and not be a dreadful ham.

Overall, it's a toss-up between Wall·E and The Dark Knight for bestest film of the year.

Special bonus feature!
Stuff what came out this year but I saw on DVD/airline seatback telly rather than in the cinema reviewed dead fast

Cloverfield: miles better than I was expecting. Developed instant crush on the girl that Hud fancies.
The Forbidden Kingdom: highly entertaining and very late-80s-family-fantasy (this is a good thing). You can't argue with a film that casts Jet Li as the Monkey King.
Kung Fu Panda: unexpectedly brilliant and made me laugh out loud within the first two minutes. Looked good enough to lick.
The Incredible Hulk: okay, but ran out of steam about forty minutes from the end. Nice sly vein of humour.
I also saw the last fifty minutes or so of Iron Man, which seemed fairly good.


Saturday, December 13, 2008

An insight into the intriguing life of Samuel Bridgett

I intended to write a list of five really weird things I saw in Sainsbury's today, but I forgot all but number 1.

What was number 1, you ask?

Vibrating condoms.

Condoms that vibrate.

They had a little battery pack on the ring or lip or whatever you call it.


Also, I had one of the best dreams I ever had last night. Basically it started out as a fairly accurate version of Resident Evil: Extinction, with me as Milla Jovovich. Then I woke up and went to sleep again, and it sort of restarted, but I was me instead, in England. One of the movie's plot points is that the zombie virus has also killed off plantlife, turning the world into one big desert, but in my dream England was sort of half-hanging on to its green and pleasant self, and some resemblance of normality. I went to a Toys R Us at one point, and about half the customers were queuing up to pay for their stuff, because they wanted life to carry on as normal; and the other half were just shoplifting, because, hey, zombie apocalypse. Then it turned out that Australia was untouched, so I flew there with Milla and some friends, although when we got there the scenery was more like a cross between England and Canada. There were also a couple of pretty girls that I suspected of having a crush on me, one of which I think my subconscious based off this girl I met once in college, thought, "Wow, you're beautiful," then never saw again and have not thought about for a good four years. Then I can't remember what happened.
So, yeah. Doesn't sound that great when you write it down but it was immensely satisfying for some reason.

You read can't un-read it!

Monday, December 08, 2008

Oh lordy

Oh lordy lordy loo

It had to happen some time, I guess.

Monday, December 01, 2008



PA in the hizouse

A couple of weeks ago, Penny Arcade celebrated its tenth birthday. I meant to mark the occasion, and forgot. So may I present (through links, as it's a heck of a lot easier), one strip for each year. Not necessarily the best, but good enough for readin'.