Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Classic movies I don't really like

Basically because I'm bored. This is personal opinion and shouldn't stop you from checking them out yourself, etc etc. No particular order, either.

Blade Runner - I tried to watch this once and got bored in twenty minutes. And when you have Harrison Ford chasing rogue cyborgs through dirty streets simultaneously drenched in neon and rain, you have to actively work to lose my attention.

The Godfather - I didn't actually mind this one, it was pretty good considering gangster movies always depress and anger me. It appears on this list purely for Marlon "What The Fuck Is He Saying" Brando. "Ummph mpph mff, gmmm mf punf."

The Terminator - Possibly spoiled by the fact I'd already seen 2 and 3 by the time I got to it, but I just didn't really care.

Psycho - The music did this one in. It's all very well having a famous score with That Scary String Bit, but when the music's going all the freaking time it does your head in.

To Kill a Mockingbird - The book devotes so much time to the vivid colours of summer in the Deep South that a black and white film just doesn't work. I'll probably give this one another go, mind.

The Matrix - I used to love this, but I think everyone ever nicking bullet-time has ruined it. Now I watch it and just think "get on with it". Also, if you listen really hard during the endless slo-mo shots of great big guns being fired, you can hear the Wachowskis masturbating vigourously over their NRA badges.

Coming soon: Films I Like That Everyone Else Hates. Probably.

Monday, December 03, 2007


87. Street Fighter Alpha: Warriors’ Dreams
Saturn, 1996, Capcom/Virgin Interactive

This is the only SF game I’ve ever owned, which I guess makes me suck or something. Apparently, get this, if you do a sort of quarter-circle forward and press punch as Ryu or Ken, you shoot a fireball. Good, eh?

86. 1080˚ Avalanche
Gamecube, 2003, NST/Nintendo

Jeez, this game’s hard. But good. The difficulty gets to me quite readily, but the glorious panoramas you’re boarding across always lure me back. Top marks to the Frozen Melee levels – stunning obstacle courses of sheer rock at absurd heights, with three or four levels of elevation to choose from – magnificent. Plus, outracing the titular avalanches is great.

85. Resident Evil 3: Nemesis
Gamecube, 2003, Capcom Production Studio 4/Capcom

I’d probably like this more if I’d picked it up closer to its original release, but chucking a PS1 game onto the Cube with basically no polish or extras was pretty damn cheeky. Of course, I still bought it…Anyway, it offers the usual Resi goodness, and the Live Selection concept and branching gameplay it births deserves to be brought back. The gunpowder idea was pretty good, too, if fiddly. Not bad for an old game, then.