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My latest bored-during-lockdown idea: SPELL YOUR NAME WITH ALBUMS WOO

My Top 10 Films of 2018

Movies!  That I saw!  That I liked!  In an order!

Resident Evil 7 post-mortem

I finished Resident Evil 7: Biohazard this afternoon.  Verdict?  Excellent start, severe dip for the Marguerite section, recovers itself after that.  Basically, very good.

More spoileriffic thoughts after the cut.

Hmm

Just finished episode 4 of Life is Strange, and I'm not sure about the SHOCKING TWIST in its last moments.  The events of episode 5 may yet prove to justify it but at present it seems like a SHOCKING TWIST for the sake of a SHOCKING TWIST, rather than one that was properly seeded through the plot's earlier motions.  We shall see.

My Top 10 Films of 2015

Because I was concerned that no-one anywhere had done one of these already.  Also, MY OPINIONS ARE VALID LET ME TELL YOU THEM

My Top 10 Films of 2014

Indeed.  It's that time of the year once again, but I've been to the cinema so much this year that I decided to do a top 10 rather than bore you with my complete list of viewingness.  (Even so, there were many, many, many films I wanted to see and didn't get around to.)

As ever, expect 2013 entries that I didn't get to see in 2013 because of reasons.

Just who the hell do you think I am?

Continuing a previous post, I'm nearly at the end of Gurren Lagann.  And OH MY GOODNESS you cannot predict what this show will do next.

A few episodes back, I was discussing it with the guy who lent it to me.  I half-jokingly said (spoiler alert!) "I reckon they'll end up having to fight the moon."

and I was right

whaaaaaaaaat

Still got five episodes to go, mind.  The moon's on their side now.

Maybe they'll fight the sun next?

Top 50 Games - #10

10. Super Smash Bros. Melee

Developer: HAL Laboratory

Publisher: Nintendo

Format: GameCube

Year: 2002

Films I did see in 2-0-1-3

Apropos nothing, here are brief thoughts on all the films I saw at the cinema this year.  (A couple of them are 2012 releases, 'cos I missed them last year and saw showings at my excellent local arts centre, the Farnham Maltings, which tends to show films a month or more after their general release.  So there.)

Top 50 Games - #16

16. Deus Ex

Developer: Ion Storm

Publisher: Eidos

Year: 2000

Format: PlayStation 2, Mac, PC

Top 50 Games - #29

29. Carmageddon II: Carpocalypse Now

Developer: Stainless Software

Publisher: SCI

Year: 1998

Format: PC

Top 50 Games - #35

35. Crazy Taxi

Developer: AM3

Publisher: Sega

Year: 1999

Format: Dreamcast, Arcade

Top 50 Games - #37

Ho-leeeeee shit, I added to this list.  I've actually moved house now, so I might get this finished one of these days.  Not that I've written everything yet, but hey...

37. Batman: Arkham Asylum

Developer: Rocksteady Studios

Publisher: Eidos

Year: 2009

Format: Xbox 360, Mac, PC, PlayStation 3

Top 50 Games - #39

Apologies for the fact that any sort of update schedule has been unceremoniously chucked out the window.  I'm in the midst of attempting to move house, and having to look after my infant niece quite often in the mornings (I work afternoon/evenings).  So...yeah.

39. Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Developers: Sora, Game Arts, a few other people they grabbed off the street

Publisher: Nintendo

Year: 2008

Format: Wii

Top 50 Games - #48

Check it, I've worked out how to put breaks in.  INTERNET WOO

48. Soul Calibur

Developer: Namco

Publisher: Namco

Year: 1999

Format: Dreamcast, Arcade

Watch this space

This one, right here.


There, that one.    <-----

Yeah, anyway.  At some point in the near future, this blog will host my Top 50 Games Ever.  Because it's something to do.  And it'll provide some much-needed practice for my writing skills, which have got somewhat rusty due to the fact I haven't had any professional writing work for the best part of a year.

(Hi, Mr/Ms Writing Job Person!  You should totally hire me!  I can almost guarantee wacky hijinks!  Or at the very least punctually-filed copy!)

That's all for now.  MESSAGE ENDS

Living in the future, &c.

Every so often, the whole concept of Wi-Fi staggers me anew. I'm sitting in the front room Internetting it up on my new netbook with built in Wi-Fi, and it occurred to me that if you were to head back in time, say, twenty years, and explain how before long you'd be using tiny computers that could suck videos and information and music and stuff OUT OF THIN AIR you'd be burned as a witch.

...Although actually, thinking about it, it's only five years until Back to the Future II-time. Get a move on, hoverboard-developer-types, and so on.

A list of films that I saw in the year 2009 and brief opinions on same

And you can't say fairer than that.

Inkheart

Good solid family fantasy in the Never Ending Story/Willow/other such '80s movies mould - not amazing, but decent entertainment. Also I read the book a few months later and the film's actually better. Worth a watch to see Andy Serkis really enjoy saying the phrase "duct tape".

Watchmen

Covered way back when - basically, not bad. A bit too beholden to the comic sometimes, but probably as good a movie as you could make out of the material without incurring too much fanboy wrath. Top marks to Billy Crudup, who essayed what must be one of the hardest roles in the history of everything brilliantly.

Let the Right One In

Excellent. Spooky, thoughtful, tender and atmospheric. And again, better than the book (although the fact that the original author wrote the screenplay probably helped there). A stunning pair of performances from the young leads.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

I basically only went to see this as an X-fan, expecting it to be fairly dire and SUPER-SERIOUS AND ANGSTY. Imagine my surprise and delight that everyone was more interested in being shamelessly over-the-top and silly. And did it have a bit where Hugh Jackman walked away from an explosion in slow motion? Yes, it did have a bit where Hugh Jackman walked away from an explosion in slow motion!

Coraline

Blimey, but this was a feast for the eyeballs. Being the first (and thus far, only) full-length film I've seen in 3D probably helped, but I kept having these moments where I'd admire a background detail then think "Someone made that." The atmosphere is impeccable, the soundtrack astonishing. My initial feeling was that the story was a little too simplistic, but on reflection I considered that it was deliberately positioning itself as a traditional fairy tale. Rewatchings on DVD also helped me pinpoint a few extra subtleties I'd missed the first time round. Basically, what I am saying is that this is an excellent film.

Star Trek

God bless you, JJ. You remembered that blockbusters used to be fun. This relentlessly entertaining romp kept me fully entertained in the most straightforward sense from beginning to end. And it had the best haircuts for extras in the history of anything ever.

I've Loved You So Long

Okay, so this isn't a 2009 film but I saw it in a cinema (well, my local arts centre) in 2009 and I hadn't seen it before so it counts. Fantastic acting all round, it might have been in with a shot of my favourite film of the year but for the plot, which seemed to be saying "Ha! Shocked you there!" when it was pretty obvious what was being led up to. Still superb, though.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

I found this passable enough when actually sitting in the cinema but upon reflection it was rubbish, wasn't it? Let's move on.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Otherwise known as David Yates Continues His Love Affair With The Colour Grey. Admittedly there was more point to the dour palette here than in Order of the Phoenix, but c'mon man. Anyway, it was all right in that special way that Harry Potter films have of being passable adaptations of books but fairly limp when it comes to being films in their own right.

(500) Days of Summer

Top stuff. Intelligently written and acted (top marks for protagonist Tom's descent into misery, where you feel bad for him but at the same time want to yell at him to stop being such a tit) with all sorts of brilliant inventive bits (the dance sequence, the split-screen party, the spoof of nouvelle vague that had me in absolute stitches). On a down note, I recognised several songs in the soundtrack but only own one of them, which means I'm not cool. Bah.

District 9

Very good, but not quite as good as the hype made out. An excellent performance from Sharlto Copley (who is apparently in the A-Team remake or something?) kept it grounded. Pun not really intended.

Creation

Excellent. Paul Bettany's central performance is surely worth an award nod or three, if not the awards themselves. Actually, everyone was fantastic in it. Some great sequences showing time-lapse nature, too.

Up

Another slightly over-hyped entry - I felt that the comedy and drama were superlative, but the action/adventure sections seemed tacked on and could quite easily have been junked. A slight disappointment, but only very slight. Doug is probably the best character in all the films of the year, though.

In the Loop

An exquisitely sharp wit, remarkably depressing, pretty much a failure when it comes to actually creating believable characters. Probably not the point for this sort of movie, admittedly, but I always find it hard to warm to films where you can't sympathise with at least one person.

Zombieland

Another one that I wasn't expecting much out of - probably a few good cheap laughs, inventive zombie-splotting, the end. A very nice surprise to find a witty, well-rounded comedy that satisfied on every level and leaves me wishing they'd hurry up and release the DVD already.

The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus

Yes, it got around Ledger's death smoothly, yes, it was very odd. And yes, surprisingly, Lily Cole gave a good performance. It did feel like a series of remarkable visual ideas searching for something more concrete, though.

9

Lovely look, good ideas, bit of a shame the script occasionally let it down. Not bad, but I imagine the short film that inspired it is probably better.

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Now this was great. Witty, charming, imaginative, and, as noted, had a stop-motion Jarvis Cocker in it. The scene where Mr. Fox and Badger's arguement devolves into snarling and claw-waving was quite possibly the funniest scene of the year. Loved the "cuss" stuff, as well, which was far funnier than it probably should have been.

Where the Wild Things Are

What an odd film. It captured that arbitrary logic of many kids' stories (by which I mean both stories for kids and stories by kids) exquisitely, and the monsters were remarkable. A flawless performance by the wonderfully-named Max Records as Max, too. Overall, good not great; very memorable, though. But seriously, how did Spike Jonze ever convince the suits to stump up the cash?

So, best film of the year? Well, it's a toss-up between Let the Right One In and Coraline. And frankly, I can't make my mind up (it was originally Swedish vampires quite comfortably, but DVD rewatchings of girl meeting scary Freudian monster has seen my opinion of it rise, and I haven't got round to rewatching Right One yet). We'll call it a draw for now.

Burning down the house

Stop it, David Blaine. Byrne. Whatever. Do you think they ever get each other confused? My gut tells me that hijinks would ensue. The wackiness of said hijinks would need to be plotted on a graph, mind, and I can't be bothered with that.

Which is the least coherent way I could come up with of saying that I am going to inflict you with my opinions on the first series of Dollhouse, as I watched the finale last night on the tellemebox.

For many a moon, Buffy the Vampire Slayer was my very favouritest TV show. It's not up at such lofty heights in my mind any more (it seems oddly dated and even quaint in places these days, especially the first couple of seasons), but I still heart it. I don't really know what my very favouritest TV show is any more, but if I was pushed Firefly would be a strong contender. Basically, what I am saying is that I like Joss Whedon and I like things that Joss Whedon makes.

So thirteen weeks ago I sat down to watch, aware of Dollhouse's reputation (bit of a rubbish start, but give it a chance) and willing to overlook quite a lot. And at the other end, it's a choice I'm glad I made.

Super-quick rundown: there's a secret organisation that wipes people's personalities (volunteers...most of the time) and downloads entire new people into their heads for paying clients. The clients order anything from a hostage negotiator to a jewel thief to a bodyguard to a high-class prostitute - but since these are rich people, the so-called "actives" are usually required for sex or violence. Or violent sex. Or sexy violence. It's Joe 90 with boobs and booms, basically, and at the end of the episode the active's brain is wiped clean and they're returned to the House.

The first three or four weeks were agreeable enough - the stories weren't super-gripping but kept me entertained, and there was enough groundwork being laid for the future to help push the thing along.

However, by week 6 ("Man on the Street") I was growing tired with the person-of-the-week stories.

SPOILERS AHEAD, FELLOWS AND LADIES!

When Dollhouse-obsessed FBI agent Paul Ballard finally got it awn with his shy neighbour Mellie, I got worried. Because in Joss Whedon's universe, if you have a drawn-out romantic will-they-won't-they, the will-they is usually followed by something awful happening. And indeed, the Dollhouse sent an assassin to kill Mellie, which distressed me because I liked the couple (and fancied Mellie something rotten). "Fine, I'm not watching any more," I decided. But I forgot that a Joss Whedon show would never have a defenceless semi-naked woman abruptly killed by an evil man (who'd been revealed as a rapist earlier in the episode) and Mellie was revealed to be an active too, who promptly killed him. Hooray! Maybe I would keep watching after all.

THE SPOILERS, THEY ARE ENDED!

From there the series gradually got better and better, finishing with a top-notch episode (SPOILERS BACK!) set in the future, which has gone all post-apocalyptic on us. And featured Felicia Day and Molly off Heroes. (SPOILERS GONE!)

While it's never quite up to Whedon's previous televisual treats, it's some good stuff. The key is how it, with a mixture of good writing and good acting, gradually layers up sympathy for some pretty damn unsympathetic protagonists. Top marks to Tahmoh Penikett, who works hard to make Ballard more than a one-note Dogged Law Guy; Fran Kranz as the House's tech god Topher Brink (basically Xander from Buffy but smarter and with kind of a god complex), who you should technically hate but just can't; and Olivia Williams as House-head Adelle DeWitt. The scene in the finale (THE SPOILERS RETURN!) between Williams and Kranz as the latter has gone mad after his tech brings about the downfall of civilisation, and the former has essentially turned into his mother in trying to keep him together, was very affecting. (THE SPOILERS DEPART!)

The slightly mind-screwing (and rather scary) concept is explored well - the one that sticks out in my mind is "Haunted", the tenth episode, wherein a friend of DeWitt's utilises the House's technology to solve her own murder.

So, basically, it's good and if you choose to check it out, bear in mind that it takes a bit of time to get going. However, it rewards your perservance quite nicely. Roll on the unexpected and welcome second series!

OH GOD

WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE

HE HAS COME TO WREAK HIS VENGEANCE

IN HIS BIG-ASS ROBOT SUIT

The full horrifying story of humankind's end