The 36th Chamber

I've just finished watching The 36th Chamber of Shaolin, and it was rather good.  I would recommend it.  Though the ending was bizarrely abrupt - I assumed there was some footage missing, but I can't find any corroboration to that on the interwubs. 

There were some excellent fight scenes (some very good weapon ones, particularly), but I rather liked the fact that the majority of it was about the hero's training at the Shaolin temple.  It gave it a calm, meditative quality that most martial arts movies lack, as well as some delightfully distinctive visual set-pieces.  The candle chamber was undoubtedly my highlight.

You can see why the famously kung fu-loving Wu-Tang Clan named their first album in its honour.  I initially wrote that as "fist album".  That works too.  But it does remind me of The Man with the Iron Fists, which I managed to stick about twenty minutes of before giving up.  Good lord, RZA,  Good lord.

Steins;Gate 100% CG

I just platinumed my copy of Steins;Gate on PS3 and since I had real trouble working out how to get the 100% CG trophy I thought I'd make a note here.  I have this YouTube vid to thank for it.

https://youtu.be/07aXs88xUS8

Go to the Stardust Sky chapter, the one that leads to the Mayuri ending where you haven't got any of the true ending flags.  Once you've shifted back to the Alpha wordline, you'll get a new email with the last CG.  I'm assuming this only works after you've collected all the other CGs and completely licked the game otherwise, though I don't know.  Anyway, 100% CG for you.

Zero Escape

I finished Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors last night.  Technically this morning at about 1.30 a.m. due to the mysterious phenomena that means you only ever finish a game when it's past midnight. 

It's the first title in the Zero Escape trilogy.  I'd already finished the second game, Virtue's Last Reward, back in 2014. 

I did 'em out of order because 999, originally a DS game, didn't get a UK release until a cut-down iPad port quite recently.  I imported 999 - unusual for me, I don't tend to bother importing stuff - because I loved VLR that damn much.  If you've played the games, you'll know that playing them out of order actually kind of makes a weird sense, given that several of the series' characters like to play merry hell with causality.

My point here is that if you haven't encountered the Zero Escape series, you really should.

Imagine Saw meets The Crystal Maze, to start with, then layer in a whole bunch of scientific and philosophical hypotheses, most of which I hadn't come across before and a pleasingly daft sense of humour.  They're intriguingly plotted, satisfying to work through (999 climaxes with a giant sudoku grid to solve - while I've previously understood sudoku puzzles in the abstract, I've never actually sat down and done one by myself before.  999 was the first time I ever did one under my own steam) and filled with meaty concepts to chew on.

The on-off-on-again final instalment, Zero Time Dilemma, is out this year.  Well, this year in Japan and the U.S., at least.  Europe has the good ol' ominously vague "TBD".  Still, I'll wait.  It'll be worth it.

Yep

Well, I was right about Akame Ga Kill!.  There were a grand total of four major characters left alive at the end, out of...twenty-odd?  And my joint-favourite character was one of the dead ones.  Although she died right near the end of the last episode doing something worthwhile and got quite a sweet death scene, so I'm less annoyed.  Slightly.

Gulp

I'm five episodes from the end of Akame Ga Kill! now and I'm genuinely terrified of getting any further because it's pretty obvious that everyone is going to die and I don't want them to

waaaaa

Opinions about stuff

I picked up the boxed edition of Life is Strange yesterday.  I've only had a chance to play the first forty minutes or so but it's looking very promising.

Indeed

Quatermass: "If we found our Earth was doomed - say from climatic changes - what would we do about it?"

Roney: "Nothing.  Just go on squabbling as usual."

Screenwriter Nigel Kneale there, nailing it in his script for Quatermass and the Pit.  Which came out in 1967.  Just sayin'.

Other stuff that was good in 2015

Because.

TV

I got a Netflix account this year, so a good chunk of my telly watching consisted of non-2015 anime that doesn't count.  But Kill la Kill, Aldnoah.Zero and Sword Art Online are all great so there.  As for stuff that does count, Netflix also dispensed the fantastic Daredevil, which was almost my show of the year. Also notable: Humans; The Hunt; Hannibal and The Returned both wrapping up with series that were good but not as good as proceeding series; Jessica Jones being good so far (only halfway through); Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead providing their usual levels of gore and WTFery.  The winner, though, must be Wolf Hall.

Games

I bought slightly too many games this year, many of which weren't 2015-era.  But some were.  And of them, it's a three-way tie between Splatoon, Fallout 4 and Steins;Gate for best of the year.  All three are fantastic; all three have certain major issues.  I love 'em all and can't decide.

Music

Song of the year?  Easy: "The Shade" by Metric.  Album of the year?  Trickier.  I only got...three or four, I think?  "The Shade"'s parent album, Pagans in Vegas, might be in with a shout.  But I do like Jean-Michel Jarre's esoterically titled Electronica 1: The Time Machine.  Hmm.

Books

I don't think I actually bought a 2015-published book.  So, um, yeah.  Read plenty of good ones, mind.  Actually, wait!  I bought Ernest Cline's Armada and David Wong's Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits.  The latter of which I haven't read yet.  So Cline wins by default and Wong gets Best Title For A Book.

My Top 10 Films of 2015

Because I was concerned that no-one anywhere had done one of these already.  Also, MY OPINIONS ARE VALID LET ME TELL YOU THEM

Stuff I Like Lately

Comic: We3 by Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely

A dog, a cat and a rabbit are turned into cybernetic assassins then go on the run when the time comes to pull the plug on the project.  Heartbreaking and cleverly written.  Be warned, "eye-poppingly violent" is not a metaphor in this case.

TV show: Aldnoah.Zero

Giant robots in the finest anime tradition but with equal focus on the soldiers fighting an inherently ridiculous war, elegantly handled political power-plays and some truly spectacular plot twists.  It's kind of daft how the lead character saves the day almost single-handedly pretty much every single time, but the rest of the show is so well done I'll let it off.

Tea

I do like tea.  I'ma go make a mug.

I've got my iTunes on shuffle and a track from Bruno Coulais' astonishing soundtrack to Coraline just popped up.

Why that didn't get all the awards I'll never know.

Brief thoughts on Fallout 4

Based on three or so hours of play.

• It's good.  It's vair good.
• The opening is fantasically done.
• Going for a fully-voiced protagonist was a bit of a risk, but thus far it seems to have paid off.  I'm playing as a woman and Courtenay Taylor's performance is excellent.
• The game recognises what name you give your character, which completely blew my mind.  I decided to call my character Ruby and the bloke who voiced the robot Codsworth must've had to record hundreds of variations because he immediately referred to me, fully voiced, as "Mistress Ruby"!  It's not a super-obscure name, but it's not a common one either...
• The Minecraft-esque town building is brilliant.  I wasn't expecting to delve into it much 'cos I tend to find those sort of systems a bit of a headache but I love it.
• every item in the game has a use because you can scrap it for its raw materials Bethesda you bastards I have a hard enough time keeping my inventory weight limit down with useful items now I gotta pick up every coffee cup I see
• also I'll be modding my weapons forever argh
• Loads of great little touches.  Like the extra animations everywhere (especially fiddling with the Pip-Boy), the new layout and method for perks, being able to see inside containers immediately...
• Facial animation is still a bit odd but it wouldn't be Fallout any other way.  Otherwise the game looks yum.

The Nightmare Before Boston

With thanks to my friend Stokes and a guy on the STCO forum who did something similar ten-odd years ago (haha I'm old) for prompting the idea and apologies to Danny Elfman, I present my ode composed the day before Fallout 4 comes out.

What's this?  What's this?
There's rubble everywhere
What's this?
There's ashes in the air
What's this?
I can't believe my eyes
I must be dreaming
Wake up Jack*, this isn't fair
What's this?

What's this?  What's this?
There's something very wrong
What's this?
Someone's been dropping bombs
What's this?
The streets are lined with
Super Mutants laughing
Everybody seems so hardcore
In the aftermath of the war
What is this?

I'm firing off my shotgun
Exploding all their heads
I'm busy building towns
And making everybody dead
There's so much loot to pick up
Oh I can't believe my eyes
I wonder if this Fat Man could
Help boil up their insides?

Oh look
What's this?
The V.A.T.S. will help me not...to miss?  Why that'll come in handy
Inspired!
They're gathering around to hear a story, roasting Mole Rats on a fire!
What's this?

What's this?
In here
They're trading bottle caps
How queer
And who would ever think
And why?
They're collecting little Vault Boy statues
They've got useful stat boosts too
So, now, correct me if I'm wrong
This looks like fun
This looks like fun
Oh could it be I got my wish?
What's this?

Oh my, what now?
This cavern is so deep
And look, there's something that's all teeth
Let's try a hatchet, aim to take its head off
Maybe trade its flesh too, get a stimpack or two
Secure inside my Pip-Boy
Ahhh.....
What's this?

The Pre-War stuff's all missing
And clean water can't be found
And in their place there seems to be
Some Raiders all around
And through their screams, I swear
40's music's in the air
The smell of Feral Ghouls is absolutely everywhere

The sights, the sounds!
They're everywhere and all around
I've never seen so many guns before
My inventory is filling up
I simply cannot get enough
I want it, oh I want it
Oh I want it for my own
I've got to know, I've got to know
What is this place that I have found?
What is this?

....The Commonwealth?  Hmmm...

*for ease let's assume the male Sole Survivor is called Jack and the female is Jacqueline 
Also I know large chunks don't scan but damn if Danny Elfman can't cram an improbable number of syllables into a given line

My Top 10 Films of 2014

Indeed.  It's that time of the year once again, but I've been to the cinema so much this year that I decided to do a top 10 rather than bore you with my complete list of viewingness.  (Even so, there were many, many, many films I wanted to see and didn't get around to.)

As ever, expect 2013 entries that I didn't get to see in 2013 because of reasons.

Just who the hell do you think I am?

Continuing a previous post, I'm nearly at the end of Gurren Lagann.  And OH MY GOODNESS you cannot predict what this show will do next.

A few episodes back, I was discussing it with the guy who lent it to me.  I half-jokingly said (spoiler alert!) "I reckon they'll end up having to fight the moon."

and I was right

whaaaaaaaaat

Still got five episodes to go, mind.  The moon's on their side now.

Maybe they'll fight the sun next?

Chortle

They couldn't even make it twenty-four hours without holding their hands up and saying, "yeah, okay, it's not Xbox One-only forever."

Heh.

Blogger's little button that says "Publish" that you click to post a post really should change to "and be damned" when you click it.

La-de-dah-de-dah

I've been watching Gurren Lagann recently.  You should watch it too if you like ridiculous anime that makes no sense and is amazing.

Seriously, it's bonkers even by anime standards.  It's set in the future where weird animal-human hybrids have forced regular humans underground and use "gunmen", which are mecha that are basically giant faces with limbs.  But then the humans work out how to use gunmen and fight back and there are explosions and giant guns and excessive posing and shouting and an aircraft carrier on legs and loads of characters that turn up from out of nowhere and I can never remember anyone's name and the most dangerous weapon in the world is apparently a drill.

It's nuts and I love it.  And I'm only halfway through.  And I've got the theme tune stuck in my head (as lovingly transcribed for this post's title).

I'm predicting that it'll end with the revelation that the entire world is actually a giant robot and then everyone explodes.

Rise of the foolish move

So Rise of the Tomb Raider is Xbox One-exclusive?  Really?  Really?  Does anyone believe that situation'll stay like that?  And why did Square Enix sign an exclusivity deal when 5.3 million copies of the last game in the series shipped in a month (or whatever the stats were) "didn't meet expectations"?  Sheesh.

I follow the game's head writer, Rhianna Pratchett, on Twitter.  Apparently she's been getting grief about it.  Because the head writer is obviously the person in charge of these sorts of decisions.  Oh, internet people.  Why you be so dumb.

(Part of my cynicism comes from fear that it really will stay XO-exclusive.  'Cos I really want to play it and don't want to buy an Xbox One.  In fact, quick memo, Microsoft: you will only get me to buy an Xbox One by announcing Shenmue III as an exclusive title.  And even then I'll wait around a bit to see if a PS4 version materialises.)

(To be fair, Sunset Overdrive looks fun, and a new Crackdown is always welcome.  But I'm sticking to my guns here.)

(Brackets brackets brackets.)

(I like brackets.)

Top 50 Games - #1

1: NiGHTS into Dreams...

Developer: Sonic Team

Publisher: Sega

Format: Saturn

Year: 1996

Top 50 Games - #2

2: Christmas NiGHTS

Dveloper: Sonic Team

Publisher: Sega

Format: Saturn

Year: 1996

Top 50 Games - #3

3. Panzer Dragoon Saga

Developer: Team Andromeda

Publisher: Sega

Format: Saturn

Year: 1998

Top 50 Games - #4

4. The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker

Developer: Nintendo EAD

Publisher: Nintendo

Format: GameCube

Year: 2003

Top 50 Games - #5

5. Shining Force III

Developer: Camelot

Publisher: Sega

Format: Saturn

Year: 1998

Top 50 Games - #6

6. Shenmue

Developer: AM2

Publisher: Sega

Format: Dreamcast

Year:  2000

Top 50 Games - #7

7. Fallout 3

Developer: Bethesda Softworks

Publisher: Bethesda Game Studios

Format: Xbox 360, PC, PlayStation 3

Year: 2008

Top 50 Games - #8

8. Resident Evil 4

Developer: Capcom Production Studio 4

Publisher: Capcom

Format: GameCube, PC, PlayStation 2

Year: 2005

Top 50 Games - #9

9. Shenmue II

Developer: AM2

Publisher: Sega

Format: Dreamcast, Xbox

Year: 2001

Top 50 Games - #10

10. Super Smash Bros. Melee

Developer: HAL Laboratory

Publisher: Nintendo

Format: GameCube

Year: 2002

Top 50 Games - #11

11. Jet Set Radio

Developer: Smilebit

Publisher: Sega

Format: Dreamcast

Year: 2000

Top 50 Games - #12

12. Animal Crossing: Wild World

Developer: Nintendo EAD Group 2

Publisher: Nintendo

Year: 2006

Format: DS

The least gamey game on this list by a long chalk.  Nintendo’s Animal Crossing doesn’t care about high scores or developing skills or solving puzzles or interactive narratives.  It cares about relaxing and having fun in a little virtual town.

   Describing AC to someone who’s never played it makes it sound terrible.  “You move into this little village, yeah?  And you get a mortgage.  And you pay the mortgage off.  Then you make your house bigger and you get another mortgage.  This goes on for a while.  When you’re not trying to pay off your mortgage, you can wander around a bit, um...talk to the other villagers.  Do a bit of fishing.  Plant a garden?  Dig up fossils.  Maybe design a dress.  Stargaze.  Just...stuff.  There’s no real goal.  No end.  Just...enjoy yourself.”

   It’s joy.  I played it at least once a day for well over a year, and still pop in occasionally.  Apparently the 3DS version, New Leaf, is the one to get, but Wild World will always be my Animal Crossing.  To switch to another version feels like betrayal, frankly.

MAGIC MOMENT: Blathers, the jolly-good-old-chap-wot-wot type owl that runs the museum.  He’s an endless bundle of delight.

Top 50 Games - #13

13. Portal

Developer: Valve

Publisher: Electronic Arts

Year: 2007

Format: Xbox 360, Mac, PC, PlayStation 3

Top 50 Games - #14

14. Half-Life

Developer: Valve

Publisher: Sierra

Year: 1998

Format: PC, Mac, Linux, PlayStation 2, Xbox

Top 50 Games - #15

No videos any more, every damn YouTube gameplay video out there has some numpty blathering over the top of it.

15. BioShock

Developer: Irrational Games (as 2K Boston)

Publisher: 2K Games

Year: 2007

Format: Xbox 360, Mac, PC, PlayStation 3

Let it Go

Well, it may be two months too late but I've found my favourite movie sequence of 2013.  In my defence, I only saw the supplying film, Disney's Frozen, yesterday.

The sequence, as anyone who's already seen Frozen may have guessed, is the "Let it Go" musical number.  It's up on Youtube - I was going to post it here, but it really needs to be seen a) in the context of the whole film and b) on the biggest screen possible (and probably in 3D, unfortunately I could only get to a 2D screening).  It's basically a perfect storm - great song, stunning vocal performance (both technically and emotionally) from Idina Menzel, and some utterly astonishing animation.  And by astonishing animation I don't mean the ice powers (although they're great) - I mean the actions, reactions and emotions of the character Elsa.  Rarely if ever have I seen such a jawdropping example of animated acting.  The moment where she throws her crown away and lets her hair down is just incredible.

The rest of the film has a few flaws (the script feels underdeveloped in places, some of the songs are notably weaker than others) but overall it comes recommended.  Even if you just watch it for that four-minute sequence.

Films I did see in 2-0-1-3

Apropos nothing, here are brief thoughts on all the films I saw at the cinema this year.  (A couple of them are 2012 releases, 'cos I missed them last year and saw showings at my excellent local arts centre, the Farnham Maltings, which tends to show films a month or more after their general release.  So there.)

Top 50 Games - #16

16. Deus Ex

Developer: Ion Storm

Publisher: Eidos

Year: 2000

Format: PlayStation 2, Mac, PC

Oh, EA

This amused me.

At least they're being upfront about it now!

Top 50 Games - #17

17. Ōkami

Developer: Clover Studio

Publisher: Capcom

Year: 2006

Format: PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3, Wii

  

Top 50 Games - #18

18. Portal 2

Developer: Valve

Publisher: Valve

Year: 2011

Format: Xbox 360, Mac, PC, PlayStation 3

Top 50 Games - #19

19. Virtua Cop 2

Developer: AM2

Publisher: Sega

Year: 1996

Format: Saturn, Arcade, Dreamcast, PC

Top 50 Games - #20

20. Resident Evil Code: Veronica

Developer: Capcom Production Studio 4

Publisher: Eidos

Year: 2000

Format: Dreamcast

Top 50 Games - #21

21: Half-Life 2

Developer: Valve

Publisher: Valve

Year: 2004

Format: Xbox 360, Mac, PC, PlayStation 3, Xbox

Top 50 Games - #22

22: Streets of Rage II

Developer: Sega

Publisher: Sega

Year: 1992

Format: Mega Drive

Top 50 Games - #23

23: Sonic 3 & Knuckles

Developer: Sega Technical Institute

Publisher: Sega

Year: 1994

Format: Mega Drive

Top 50 Games - #24

24: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Developer: Nintendo EAD

Publisher: Nintendo

Year: 1998

Format: GameCube, iQue, Nintendo 64

Top 50 Games - #25

Woah, we're halfway there.  Ah-ah, living on a prayer.

25: Sonic the Hedgehog 2

Developer: Sega Technical Institute

Publisher: Sega

Year: 1992

Format: Mega Drive

Top 50 Games - #26

26: Worms 2

Developer: Team 17

Publisher: Microprose

Year: 1997

Format: PC  

Top 50 Games - #27

27: Power Stone

Developer: Capcom

Publisher: Eidos

Year: 1999

Format: Dreamcast, Arcade

Top 50 Games - #28

28. Burning Rangers

Developer: Sonic Team

Publisher: Sega

Year: 1998

Format: Saturn

Top 50 Games - #29

29. Carmageddon II: Carpocalypse Now

Developer: Stainless Software

Publisher: SCI

Year: 1998

Format: PC

Top 50 Games - #30

30. Soul Calibur II

Developer: Namco

Publisher: Namco

Year: 2003

Format: GameCube, Arcade, PlayStation 2, Xbox

Top 50 Games - #31

31. Marvel Super Heroes

Developer: Capcom

Publisher: Virgin Interactive

Year: 1998

Format: Saturn, Arcade, PlayStation

Top 50 Games - #32

32. Sonic Adventure

Developer: Sonic Team

Publisher: Sega

Year: 1999

Format: Dreamcast

Top 50 Games - #33

33. Fallout: New Vegas

Developer: Obsidian Entertainment

Publisher: Bethesda Softworks

Year: 2010

Format: Xbox 360, PC, PlayStation 3

Top 50 Games - #34

34. RollerCoaster Tycoon

Developer: Chris Sawyer

Publisher: Hasbro

Year: 1999

Format: PC

Top 50 Games - #35

35. Crazy Taxi

Developer: AM3

Publisher: Sega

Year: 1999

Format: Dreamcast, Arcade

Top 50 Games - #36

36. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Trials and Tribulations

Developer: Capcom

Publisher: Capcom

Year: 2008

Format: DS

Top 50 Games - #37

Ho-leeeeee shit, I added to this list.  I've actually moved house now, so I might get this finished one of these days.  Not that I've written everything yet, but hey...

37. Batman: Arkham Asylum

Developer: Rocksteady Studios

Publisher: Eidos

Year: 2009

Format: Xbox 360, Mac, PC, PlayStation 3

merple derp

derple merp

Top 50 Games - #38

38. WarioWare: Twisted!

Developers: Nintendo SPD Group No. 1, Intelligent Systems

Publisher: Nintendo

Year: 2005 in USA

Format: Game Boy Advance

Top 50 Games - #39

Apologies for the fact that any sort of update schedule has been unceremoniously chucked out the window.  I'm in the midst of attempting to move house, and having to look after my infant niece quite often in the mornings (I work afternoon/evenings).  So...yeah.

39. Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Developers: Sora, Game Arts, a few other people they grabbed off the street

Publisher: Nintendo

Year: 2008

Format: Wii

Top 50 Games - #40

40. Crackdown

Developer: Realtime Worlds

Publisher: Microsoft Game Studios

Year: 2007

Format: Xbox 360

Top 50 Games - #41

41. Beyond Good & Evil

Developer: Ubisoft Montpellier

Publisher: Ubisoft

Year: 2004

Format: GameCube, PC, PlayStation 2, Xbox