So to follow up my last post, I watched Mad Max and it's rubbish. He doesn't even get mad until the last twenty minutes of the film! And half of those twenty minutes consist of him driving round trying to find people to be mad at. Piffle.
In not-at-all related news, I'm currently reading David Mitchell's The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet. It's set in 1799, and there's an intimation at one point that one of the minor characters is a distant ancestor of Eiji Miyake, the protagonist of another one of Mitchell's books, number9dream. I love it when authors do that. (And yes, before you ask, I do read quite a lot of Stephen King. But not Michael Moorcock. I've never actually read any of his stuff. I guess I ought to at some point.)
That sure was a blog post!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Charidee, mate
I love charity shops. Today's purchases:
The Twilight Watch and The Last Watch, books three and four in Sergei Lukyanenko's Night Watch tetralogy (side note: according to Wikipedia, the first usage of "quadrilogy" dates from 1865) = £2.50 for the pair
Mad Max = 49p on video
Lastly, and most importantly, RollerCoaster Tycoon = £1.99. I actually saw this a few days ago, and figured it wouldn't work on my current PC (the box only specifies Windows 95 or 98, not XP). I decided to get it anyway, and it motherfucking works
Hells yes
One of my all-time favourite games, back with me at last
Charity shops, motherfuckerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
The Twilight Watch and The Last Watch, books three and four in Sergei Lukyanenko's Night Watch tetralogy (side note: according to Wikipedia, the first usage of "quadrilogy" dates from 1865) = £2.50 for the pair
Mad Max = 49p on video
Lastly, and most importantly, RollerCoaster Tycoon = £1.99. I actually saw this a few days ago, and figured it wouldn't work on my current PC (the box only specifies Windows 95 or 98, not XP). I decided to get it anyway, and it motherfucking works
Hells yes
One of my all-time favourite games, back with me at last
Charity shops, motherfuckerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Friday, June 10, 2011
Bubblegum: located
Guys, guys.
Duke Nukem Forever is out today. It's actually out. Fourteen years late.
I meant to go into town and have a look at it on shop shelves but I forgot. Nae matter.
'Course, the next question is "is it actually any good?"
Duke Nukem Forever is out today. It's actually out. Fourteen years late.
I meant to go into town and have a look at it on shop shelves but I forgot. Nae matter.
'Course, the next question is "is it actually any good?"
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Well Mr. Burns had done it
The power plant had won it
With Roger Clemens clucking all the while
Mike Scotia's tragic illness made us smile
While Wade Boggs lay unconscious on the bar-room tile...
With Roger Clemens clucking all the while
Mike Scotia's tragic illness made us smile
While Wade Boggs lay unconscious on the bar-room tile...
Monday, May 30, 2011
Re: brains
I successfully blagged a DVD copy of World of the Dead to review for DVD & Blu-ray Review, and watched it a couple of days ago.
You can't see me.
Well, there are a couple of shots where a blurry zombie in the distance might be me, but that's it.
The end.
In more-or-less unrelated news, another thing I've been reviewing is the sixth series of Bleach. So now I have this stuck firmly in my head. And now I am trying to stick it firmly in yours. Consider it a gift!
You can't see me.
Well, there are a couple of shots where a blurry zombie in the distance might be me, but that's it.
The end.
In more-or-less unrelated news, another thing I've been reviewing is the sixth series of Bleach. So now I have this stuck firmly in my head. And now I am trying to stick it firmly in yours. Consider it a gift!
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
Eulalia
From the age of about seven or eight to fifteen, I loved - loved - the Redwall series of books by Brian Jacques. I had the first thirteen of the series and compusively read and re-read them: my favourites were Redwall, Mossflower, Mattimeo, Mariel of Redwall, The Bellmaker, Outcast of Redwall, The Pearls of Lutra and The Long Patrol (man, that's eight out of thirteen, I can't decide which is the best! Maybe Bellmaker or Lutra. Or Outcast. Or...).
Anyway, they were wonderful. The first books I'd come across to really emphasise descriptions of places and things, they left mental images in my mind's eye so strong I can still recall them now. They were also the first place I came across several types of animals - polecats, pine martens, and most memorably, the shrike in Bellmaker (named Glokkjaw or something like that?), which I presumed was an animal Jacques had made up until I found it in a bird book several years later.
I re-read the books a few years ago, and they didn't quite stand up to an adult's eye - repetitive, predictable and with some slightly uncomfortable undertones that you could potentially read as mild racism, although I don't think that was intentional - but I'll always have a lot of love for the series as a key point in my reading history. And in fact I'm considering getting a couple of them for my niece to see what she thinks in a year or two.
As such, it's sad to hear of Jacques' death, and the fact that the forthcoming twenty-second novel in the series will abruptly be the last. R.I.P. Brian Jacques, and thank you for many, many, many happy hours of reading.
Anyway, they were wonderful. The first books I'd come across to really emphasise descriptions of places and things, they left mental images in my mind's eye so strong I can still recall them now. They were also the first place I came across several types of animals - polecats, pine martens, and most memorably, the shrike in Bellmaker (named Glokkjaw or something like that?), which I presumed was an animal Jacques had made up until I found it in a bird book several years later.
I re-read the books a few years ago, and they didn't quite stand up to an adult's eye - repetitive, predictable and with some slightly uncomfortable undertones that you could potentially read as mild racism, although I don't think that was intentional - but I'll always have a lot of love for the series as a key point in my reading history. And in fact I'm considering getting a couple of them for my niece to see what she thinks in a year or two.
As such, it's sad to hear of Jacques' death, and the fact that the forthcoming twenty-second novel in the series will abruptly be the last. R.I.P. Brian Jacques, and thank you for many, many, many happy hours of reading.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Teenagers? In connection with sex?
Looking through next week's Radio Times, I glanced at the write-up for Monday's episode of Glee. I think it was reviewed by Alison Graham, but I'm not certain and I can't be arsed to go downstairs and check; let's say it was her for the sake of argument.
Anyway, I obviously can't really comment until I've seen it, but apparently it involves much grinding of twenty-something-women-pretending-to-be-teenage-girls' buttocks in a variety of tight costumes. Graham is quite shocked by all this, and says something like, "It used to be such a sweet, wholesome show."
One can only assume that she never saw half of the first series, what with its (very funny) repeated visual gag about one character's issues with premature ejaculation.
Okay, Glee is never going to be American Pie, and it is largely sweetness and light, but come on. It is about teenagers, after all, and to quote the immortal Xander Harris:
"I'm seventeen. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex."
Anyway, I obviously can't really comment until I've seen it, but apparently it involves much grinding of twenty-something-women-pretending-to-be-teenage-girls' buttocks in a variety of tight costumes. Graham is quite shocked by all this, and says something like, "It used to be such a sweet, wholesome show."
One can only assume that she never saw half of the first series, what with its (very funny) repeated visual gag about one character's issues with premature ejaculation.
Okay, Glee is never going to be American Pie, and it is largely sweetness and light, but come on. It is about teenagers, after all, and to quote the immortal Xander Harris:
"I'm seventeen. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex."
Monday, December 13, 2010
On the kicking of ass, and the chewing of bubblegum
I downloaded Duke Nukem 3D on t'Xbox the other day, and have been playing it much of late. I did have the Saturn version way back when, but used the level select to skip through any bits I found too hard (i.e. most of it). So this is more or less a first playthrough.
And you know what's interesting? Its astonishing cheapness.
It's pretty hard, yeah. But a whole bunch of its hardness is due to the developers being cheating scumbags. Enemies fly around, shooting at you from slightly higher than you can move Duke's line-of-sight. Crucial bits of level-progression stuff are hidden in scenery that is nearly impossible to discern from non-descript background art. I've just come across a new type of enemy that flies at you and then self-destructs, doing a ton of damage - it's the aneurysm-inducing suicide soldiers from Serious Sam, except they can come from any angle and they're almost silent.
I'm not disparaging the game as a whole, mind. It's still a lot of fun to play, and it's interesting seeing the sort of stuff that became FPS standards: if I remember right, it was the first in the genre to offer some real-world environments; there are some basic switch puzzles that presage the way the genre has gradually grown a few brain cells; there's an emphasis on inventive weaponry, some of which is still distinctive (Shrinker! Woo!), as well as early outings for the sort of trap weaponry that is now common.
But it really is remarkable to see the sort of shenanigans that we used to put up with. Gearbox won't be able to get away with putting this sort of stuff in the forthcoming Forever. (If it actually is forthcoming. I'm remaining sceptical and Scully-like until the boxes are on shop shelves.)
And you know what's interesting? Its astonishing cheapness.
It's pretty hard, yeah. But a whole bunch of its hardness is due to the developers being cheating scumbags. Enemies fly around, shooting at you from slightly higher than you can move Duke's line-of-sight. Crucial bits of level-progression stuff are hidden in scenery that is nearly impossible to discern from non-descript background art. I've just come across a new type of enemy that flies at you and then self-destructs, doing a ton of damage - it's the aneurysm-inducing suicide soldiers from Serious Sam, except they can come from any angle and they're almost silent.
I'm not disparaging the game as a whole, mind. It's still a lot of fun to play, and it's interesting seeing the sort of stuff that became FPS standards: if I remember right, it was the first in the genre to offer some real-world environments; there are some basic switch puzzles that presage the way the genre has gradually grown a few brain cells; there's an emphasis on inventive weaponry, some of which is still distinctive (Shrinker! Woo!), as well as early outings for the sort of trap weaponry that is now common.
But it really is remarkable to see the sort of shenanigans that we used to put up with. Gearbox won't be able to get away with putting this sort of stuff in the forthcoming Forever. (If it actually is forthcoming. I'm remaining sceptical and Scully-like until the boxes are on shop shelves.)
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Brains, &c.
You should watch World of the Dead: The Zombie Diaries when it comes out. Why? Because I'm a zombie in it! Whether I'll actually show up on camera or not is an unknown quantity, but I'm in what I presume was one of the more expansive action sequences (a few soldiers and about a hundred zombies in the woods).
So, yeah. That's what I've been doing today.
So, yeah. That's what I've been doing today.
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Suspicions confirmed
I've been thinking for a while I should try and check out Twin Peaks some time.
And now the Horror Channel has started showing it nightly.
The TV execs are in my brain! And I love it.
Only remaining question is whether to use my newfound powers for good or evil.
And now the Horror Channel has started showing it nightly.
The TV execs are in my brain! And I love it.
Only remaining question is whether to use my newfound powers for good or evil.
Sunday, November 07, 2010
Suspicions
Last Wednesday, a new TV series started. It was hosted by Wallace and Gromit.
Then on Friday, a new David Attenborough series began. It was immediately followed by a show about zombies.
Are TV execs reading my brainwaves and using them to commission new shows?
*wishes really hard for a proper gaming show hosted by Charlie Brooker*
Then on Friday, a new David Attenborough series began. It was immediately followed by a show about zombies.
Are TV execs reading my brainwaves and using them to commission new shows?
*wishes really hard for a proper gaming show hosted by Charlie Brooker*
Friday, October 15, 2010
A handy guide
I've just had this discussion with a friend via text message but I thought I'd save it here for posterity. When you've just come in from the pub:
Tea + toast + Lost in Translation = FUCK YEAH
Tea + toast + Lost in Translation = FUCK YEAH
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Bye now to the mighty Zone
Wow, that was a laboured pun. Even for me.
I've never really been a PC gamer, it's just too much of a headache. However, round about the turn of the millennium I did give the concept a go. And during this brief period (round about mid 1998 to late 2000), I did what I always do when confronted with a new area of gamesplaying to navigate - I turned to a magazine. Said magazine was PC Zone.
I have read many a gaming mag in my years - some lasted one curious issue, others stayed with me for extended periods, as I eagerly snapped up each new edition. PC Zone fell into the latter category. It was, quite simply, a very fine read. Even though my PC of the time was too basic to run the majority of titles featured - it could just about manage Half-Life, but that was the extent - I got it every month for around 15-18 issues. (Actually, I decided to stop getting it one month and reversed the decision the next, with the result that I missed #71, which included the Half-Life review. That always niggled me.) It was simply a delight to devour, with every writer offering their own slant - it was the first magazine that showed me how each writer can have a very distinct voice - and great heaping helpings of articles and features that were interesting even if I had no intent of buying the games they were talking about. On a more practical level, the monthly demo discs were great, too.
I still have a couple of issues - and possibly a demo disc or two - floating about, and as such I'm sad to see that it's closing after 17 years. Farewell, Zone - you'll be missed.
I've never really been a PC gamer, it's just too much of a headache. However, round about the turn of the millennium I did give the concept a go. And during this brief period (round about mid 1998 to late 2000), I did what I always do when confronted with a new area of gamesplaying to navigate - I turned to a magazine. Said magazine was PC Zone.
I have read many a gaming mag in my years - some lasted one curious issue, others stayed with me for extended periods, as I eagerly snapped up each new edition. PC Zone fell into the latter category. It was, quite simply, a very fine read. Even though my PC of the time was too basic to run the majority of titles featured - it could just about manage Half-Life, but that was the extent - I got it every month for around 15-18 issues. (Actually, I decided to stop getting it one month and reversed the decision the next, with the result that I missed #71, which included the Half-Life review. That always niggled me.) It was simply a delight to devour, with every writer offering their own slant - it was the first magazine that showed me how each writer can have a very distinct voice - and great heaping helpings of articles and features that were interesting even if I had no intent of buying the games they were talking about. On a more practical level, the monthly demo discs were great, too.
I still have a couple of issues - and possibly a demo disc or two - floating about, and as such I'm sad to see that it's closing after 17 years. Farewell, Zone - you'll be missed.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Pundamentals
Today I have been watching series six of CSI: NY for a review. It never ceases to amaze me how this show can get writers who are capable of good, twisty (if usually ludicrous) plots and yet cannot write dialogue to save their collective lives. More than once this afternoon I've thought, "Oh my goodness s/he actually just said that," and I'm only four episodes in.
(The only instance I can think of off the top of my head is where a couple of guys are chasing a street hustler who's been doing a bit of three-card monte. When they catch him, one guy says, "Looks like it's time to fold." GROAN)
Also, everything must be explained at least three times for slower audience members. I think at one point they managed to explain a plot detail six times in forty seconds.
(The only instance I can think of off the top of my head is where a couple of guys are chasing a street hustler who's been doing a bit of three-card monte. When they catch him, one guy says, "Looks like it's time to fold." GROAN)
Also, everything must be explained at least three times for slower audience members. I think at one point they managed to explain a plot detail six times in forty seconds.
Saturday, August 07, 2010
Living in the future, &c.
Every so often, the whole concept of Wi-Fi staggers me anew. I'm sitting in the front room Internetting it up on my new netbook with built in Wi-Fi, and it occurred to me that if you were to head back in time, say, twenty years, and explain how before long you'd be using tiny computers that could suck videos and information and music and stuff OUT OF THIN AIR you'd be burned as a witch.
...Although actually, thinking about it, it's only five years until Back to the Future II-time. Get a move on, hoverboard-developer-types, and so on.
...Although actually, thinking about it, it's only five years until Back to the Future II-time. Get a move on, hoverboard-developer-types, and so on.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Words
Broken Social Scene's album gives me an aural erection. I've had "World Sick" in my head all day and I love it. Discuss.
(You don't really have to discuss)
Also, my copy of I'm a Cyborg finally arrived today. It was quite good.
(You don't really have to discuss)
Also, my copy of I'm a Cyborg finally arrived today. It was quite good.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Now is the time to write on the blog
Oh god, that title is an old forum joke from about four years ago that about sixty people in the entire world will get. I'm such a nerd.
So yeah. I felt like writing on this but I didn't have a topic in mind so I figured I'd just start and see what happens.
Nothing, apparently.
I think I'm gonna try booting up the Dreamcast in a bit. I'm currently on my second model and I'm pretty sure it's dying. I want to see if I can't get a bit of Shenmue action in, though, I'm halfway through a playthrough. I think. Haven't touched the thing in months due to its nearing-death.
Random fact: did you know that The 5th Dimension, the old ride at Chessington World of Adventures, had a script written by Douglas Adams? Sadly I only ever got to go on it once, the very first time I went to Chessington, and it scared the life out of me and I kept my eyes shut most of the way round. I was five or six at the time, so hey.
Incidentally, I went to Thorpe Park a couple of weeks ago, and Saw The Ride? Brilliant. It's so much fun. While I love rollercoasters, a lot of them make me slightly queasy or, hey, scare me a bit. But Saw stands proud alongside the likes of Nemesis, Oblivion and Rita as being pure exhilarating joy.
*goes to check the post that just came through the door*
Goddammit Lovefilm, where's my copy of I'm a Cyborg, But That's OK? I got an email like last Thursday saying it had been posted and it hasn't turned up yet.
Okay I think I'm done blathering now. I might go watch an episode of Firefly or summat.
(Entire world: "NOBODY CARES")
So yeah. I felt like writing on this but I didn't have a topic in mind so I figured I'd just start and see what happens.
Nothing, apparently.
I think I'm gonna try booting up the Dreamcast in a bit. I'm currently on my second model and I'm pretty sure it's dying. I want to see if I can't get a bit of Shenmue action in, though, I'm halfway through a playthrough. I think. Haven't touched the thing in months due to its nearing-death.
Random fact: did you know that The 5th Dimension, the old ride at Chessington World of Adventures, had a script written by Douglas Adams? Sadly I only ever got to go on it once, the very first time I went to Chessington, and it scared the life out of me and I kept my eyes shut most of the way round. I was five or six at the time, so hey.
Incidentally, I went to Thorpe Park a couple of weeks ago, and Saw The Ride? Brilliant. It's so much fun. While I love rollercoasters, a lot of them make me slightly queasy or, hey, scare me a bit. But Saw stands proud alongside the likes of Nemesis, Oblivion and Rita as being pure exhilarating joy.
*goes to check the post that just came through the door*
Goddammit Lovefilm, where's my copy of I'm a Cyborg, But That's OK? I got an email like last Thursday saying it had been posted and it hasn't turned up yet.
Okay I think I'm done blathering now. I might go watch an episode of Firefly or summat.
(Entire world: "NOBODY CARES")
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Five great endings
Inspired by the fact that I've just been watching Lost in Translation, here are five great endings to things. Not necessarily the five best, but the fact that they're the first five to pop into my head probably counts for something.
5. Panzer Dragoon Saga
It may be twelve years old, but I still ain't gonna spoil it. It's probably on YouTube or something. What's brilliant is that it takes a staple occurrence of RPG gaming that happened right at the start of the game and that you no doubt forgot about and uses it to turn the entire plot on its head.
4. Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
World peace is ushered in through the power of rocking out. Yes.
3. "Not Fade Away", the last episode of Angel
Angel's last series was its best and its last episode was arguably the best of that. I don't read the comic continuation because this episode ends it so wonderfully.
2. Lost in Translation
Well, yeah. It's the use of The Jesus and Mary Chain's "Just Like Honey" that does it, really.
1. The last strip of Calvin and Hobbes
Duh.
5. Panzer Dragoon Saga
It may be twelve years old, but I still ain't gonna spoil it. It's probably on YouTube or something. What's brilliant is that it takes a staple occurrence of RPG gaming that happened right at the start of the game and that you no doubt forgot about and uses it to turn the entire plot on its head.
4. Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
World peace is ushered in through the power of rocking out. Yes.
3. "Not Fade Away", the last episode of Angel
Angel's last series was its best and its last episode was arguably the best of that. I don't read the comic continuation because this episode ends it so wonderfully.
2. Lost in Translation
Well, yeah. It's the use of The Jesus and Mary Chain's "Just Like Honey" that does it, really.
1. The last strip of Calvin and Hobbes
Duh.
Friday, March 26, 2010
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