I went to see Zombieland with a friend last night, it was extremely entertaining and comes recommended for those of you who like jokes and the sight of Woody Harrelson beating up a zombie with a banjo. On the way back we started compiling a list of, you guessed it, Ten Celebrities Who Would Clearly Survive the Zombie Apocalypse. We got to about 5 and I have taken it upon myself to fill in the rest.
In no partickerlar order:
Why? Because he is a hardcore fellow of the sort you suspect would nut the Grim Reaper if they were to meet on a dark corner one night. Also Harrelson's character mentioned liking his music in the film so he was obviously looming large in our minds.
Preferred method of zombie execution: Guitar over the head.
Why? It is a well-documented fact that Lemmy is indestructible.
Preferred method of zombie execution: Bass guitar over the head. Jack Daniel's-composed molotov cocktail for "afters".
Why? See Lemmy.
Preferred method of zombie execution: Retreat up palm tree, hurl coconuts at incoming hordes.
Why? See Lemmy and Keith Richards.
Preferred method of zombie execution: Distract ravenous undead with ill-advised car insurance adverts. Use momentary advantage to bodily hurl a skinhead Ewan McGregor at them.
Why? He wrote The Zombie Survival Guide. Presumably he would lead humanity, John Connor-style.
Preferred method of zombie execution: To paraphrase the book (it's been a long time since I flicked through it and I don't have a copy to hand) - "Blades don't need reloading".
Why? When you're writing articles for the Guardian on how zombies work, you know you know your stuff. I'd guess he'd act as Brooks' loyal deputy.
Preferred method of zombie execution: Cricket bat.
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Why? Years and years and years of beating up everything that California's effects guys can throw at her. This can be applied to any female star of one of Joss Whedon's shows, really. And Milla Jovovich.
Preferred method of zombie execution: Kick their heads off.
Why? He's a hard nut, innee?
Preferred method of zombie execution: Projectile telephone. Are we not entertained, etc, etc.
Why? Even a zombie wouldn't lack decorum to such an extent as to try it on with Dame Judi.
Preferred method of zombie execution: Beat them to a pulp with an Oscar.
Why? He's the Goddam Batman.
Preferred method of zombie execution: Terrifying rage.